I am officially in the final countdown of my race! As I write this, there are only three days left until I hop on a plane and head home. This past week, my squad and I have been debriefing in Gainesville, Georgia, back where it all started! It has been so surreal being back on this campus. Everywhere I look I see memories and feel deep emotions. It has been the sweetest time and the perfect full circle closer I need to this season.
The transition back to America has been very interesting. The Lord has shown me many things about America since I left in November that have grown my heart and passion to love the people here and introduce them to the Jesus I know. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I stepped foot into a country I call home but would be so foreign compared to the places I have been over the past seven months. I am still not sure if I can fully explain this, but I will try my best:
I immediately felt lighter. I felt little pieces of myself return that I hadn’t felt in months. Some joy, boldness, a sense of “this is where the Lord has called me”, and also an urgency to wake people up. I discerned an overwhelming “hardness” from others. People are on mission. They aim to be efficient in everything, and they rarely acknowledge other people. Most people seem distant, confident, and “happy” but they are lacking true fulfillment. The Lord has shown me so much more. My perspective has changed on many things, and I would love to talk about it with you! I am a verbal processor, and as you can probably imagine, I have a lot to process. BUT before you think I hate America, let me explain something else.
My heart is on fire for the States. Jeez I can’t even explain it to you. More than Guatemala, South Africa, or Ecuador I feel this intense calling to love this place and these people. I am not better than anyone. Just because I left for seven months does not mean I am high and holy and better than all Americans. NO! I am still an American, I fall into the same traps of comfort that everyone else has fallen into. However, with leaving I haven’t had access to everything I want. A lot of my comforts had been stripped and the pace of life was turned way down. Returning home, I do not want to return to all of my comforts. I want to be bold and share the things the Lord has taught me. I do not want to ignore all of these feelings and just wait until I fall back into my comfortable routine and everything once again feels normal.
I love America, and I am so grateful to live here. I have a deep passion for the people here to fall so madly in love with Jesus.
As you can tell, I have processed the transition to the States quite a bit. I have begun to process the entirety of the race, but at the moment the end of this process seems no where in sight. I would say that is very normal. I would love to have this perfectly sorted out and put away, and I am putting a lot of pressure on myself to at least have answers to the common questions I will probably receive, but it is hard.
With that being said, if you see me around in the next few months, please please please ask me questions. I would absolutely love to share any and all of my experience with you. If this means we have a quick five minute conversation, great! If this means, we go get coffee twice a week and talk for three hours, awesome! I also just wanted to say, the conversation does not have to revolve around me. I want to hear about everything in your life too.
That’s all for now!!
I’ll be home in a few short days!!!!
God is so good. I am excited to go even deeper with Him in the seasons to come.
I love you all, and so does He!
Abigail Grace
