Hi everyone :) My heart is literally pounding as I am writing this. I am on the verge of crying and breaking out into joyful dance at the same time. I am grieving and celebrating. My heart is balancing two very conflicting feelings, but I am at total peace. Let me explain.

With war breaking out in Ukraine, questions have been floating around. Will we still go to Romania? Is it safe? Will we go home? Yesterday, I was given a choice along with the rest of my squad. 

Romania or Ecuador. 

We were only given twenty-four hours to choose. Although that seems like a very short time to make such a huge decision, the Lord has been preparing me for this for quite some time. He is honestly so good. I actually can’t help but just cry and worship Him when I think about what He has done in me. I can look back over the entirety of my life and see how the Lord has prepared me for this moment. 

Things the Lord has taught me over the last two weeks:

• The gift in having a choice.
• He is my defender.
• He is proud of me.
• I don’t have to fight for myself.
• He is good. 

Big moments in the last two weeks:

• I grieved separating from my friends here.
• I saw Jesus in a vision for the first time in THREE months!
• Jesus and I walked on water.
• God crowned me with grace.
• I finally decided to trust in His protection.

As we were given this choice of Romania or Ecuador, my mind raced, but I couldn’t help but smile knowing that the Lord had prepared me for this and would give me peace wherever I decided to go. I have prayed, worshipped, laid everything at His feet, and rested in His presence.  have talked with my family, and Cael. 

I have decided to go Romania. 

Before you freak out, I just want to encourage you to pray too. I would also love to explain that I have complete peace going to Romania. I know that Ukraine is only 450 miles away. I know there is uncertainty. I know this doesn’t seem safe. BUT what I do know is my hand is in His, and I am willing to run anywhere with Him. I have fears, but I refuse to let them paralyze me. I hope you do not allow fear to have control of you either. Sometimes following the Lord just doesn’t make sense to others, and that is okay with me. I am willing to die. I do not believe that is going to happen soon, but that is something I have processed. I know that sounds crazy, and instead of it stirring more fear in you, let it give you peace. I will not die prematurely or outside of the Lord’s will. I believe He is protecting me, but if the worst thing happens to me, He is still good. I am not seeking danger, and I will not put myself in harms way intentionally; however, my yes is on the table, and it would be an honor to die for Christ. This wasn’t a light-hearted decision, but it is the right one. 

I can feel something in me rising up. Boldness and passion is coming to life. I feel the weight of His protection surrounding me. I feel this ebb and flow of weakness and strength, of heartbreak and rejoicing. Because everyone was free to make their own choice, the squad is splitting up. Four people on my team are going to Romania, and two are going to Ecuador. The rest of the teams are split fairly similar. Although this is hard, the Lord has also been preparing our hearts for this. I have so much peace in everyone’s decision. 

Verses that come to mind: 

Isaiah 61 - “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, Because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good news to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives…”

Proverbs 31:25 - “She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future.”

Esther 4:14 - made for such a time as this

Matthew 28:16 - the great commission

John 14 - Peace

Isaiah 49 - “…And He has made My mouth like a sharp sword: in the shadow of His hand He has hidden Me, and made me a polished arrow and concealed me in His quizzer…”

Please pray for continued peace, strength, and PVT!! My parents will be here in a week!!! EEK. I believe the Lord is going to move powerfully. 

I love you all. Victory is in Jesus. 

Talk to you soon!

- Abigail Grace